Love Always, Liv
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: A few months have gone by since Olivia and Casey have began seeing each other. Olivia thought she'd found what she was missing, Casey too, but, if so, why does Casey leave after? When the reason is revealed, Casey is convinced she cannot be loved. Can Olivia prove her wrong? [co-writer: dcmasters]
1. Stay

Love Always, Liv

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 1: Stay**

Casey and Olivia had been seeing each other for a couple of months. At first, they'd filled a void the other was missing, often ending their Friday night drinks with casual, usually rough, sex. But recently the couple had seemed to develop a more emotional connection. No matter how annoyed Olivia was that Casey always left a short while after and never stayed the night, she couldn't deny how she felt about the young ADA.

So, tonight, when they'd ended up in bed together, Olivia had made sure it wasn't their usual rough session. Instead, it was a slow, passionate one and when Casey's moans had been more desperate than usual, the detective smiled.

"Oh... Liv..." Casey managed, feeling herself get closer as she glanced at her slightly shaky left hand.

Olivia smiled, moving up to hold her close, kissing her.

Casey kissed Olivia with passion, pulling away a minute later as her breathing hitched. "Mmm... f-fuck!" she moaned, her hips bucking.

Olivia kissed her neck. "Come on, Case! I know you want to. I do."

"Yes... Olivia!" Casey screamed as she came harder than she ever had.

"Casey! Oh...yes!" she moaned into her neck, coming hard.

Casey attempted to catch her breath, her whole body trembling as she held Olivia close.

Olivia smiled, holding Casey close. "Are you ok?"

"More than ok," Casey smiled, "That was... wow."

Olivia kissed her passionately. "Mmm, would you like a little more?"

"You trying to tire me out?" Casey moaned, returning the kiss.

"Maybe...?" Olivia said.

"I... I should prep for trial..."

Olivia sighed. "Casey, you never stay. What is it? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. Liv, you're perfect, in every way."

Olivia shook her head. "But I never get the other thing I want."

"I'm sorry," Casey sighed, growing quiet.

Olivia sighed. "Well, if you really need to prep, you should go. I-it's ok," she said, rolling away from Casey.

Casey sighed, pulling Olivia back to her. "Ok... I'll stay..."

Olivia looked up. "Really?"

Casey nodded. "But I'll warn you now, I'm not a very good sleeper. I tend to move around a lot."

"Oh, nightmares?"

"Yeah. I don't want to hurt you."

"So, why was your hand shaking earlier, but not the rest of your body?"

"I don't know, it was kinda random."

Olivia nodded. "Ok, so do I need to know anything else about when you sleep?"

Casey shook her head, yawning. "It doesn't happen every night."

Olivia snuggled into her. "Got it. If I wake up with a shiner, I'll blame it on a door."

Casey gave a soft laugh, closing her eyes. She couldn't deny she was exhausted as she quickly fell asleep, hoping tonight was a good night.

* * *

Olivia slept soundly until about 3am, when Casey suddenly began to tremble violently. Sitting up, Olivia turned a light on. "Casey?"

Casey stirred slowly, looking up sleepily at Olivia. "Yeah?" she asked used to the tremor, so in her sleepiness didn't really notice.

"You mean, you don't know your body just broke out into spasms?" the detective asked. "Casey, this is serious! You could have Epilepsy. You should get it checked."

"I'm fine! I need to go home," Casey said, somewhat angrily as she pushed herself up, falling back down when her muscles initially failed her, giving a frustrated sigh. She hated this.

Olivia helped her sit up. "Casey," she said gently. hugging her. "I'm not angry. I want to help if I can. Please."

"This is exactly why I didn't want to stay," Casey replied, pulling away from Olivia, slowly managing to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling her clothes on, thankful she hadn't picked buttons that morning.

Olivia followed her movements. "Casey, please! If it's personal, I promise I won't tell!" she said, hugging her. "I love you...and I want to help."

"What?" Casey asked finally looking at Olivia. "What did you just say?"

"I...I-I said I..I love you," Olivia managed. "Please don't shut me out. We can sit up all night talking if you want," she said, taking her hand.

"But I... I can't love you, even though I want to..."

"Why not? Please talk to me!" Olivia pleaded.

"Because... it's not fair!"

"But I'll be here for you no matter what!" the detective said, hugging her gently.

"Don't! You can't fall for me. We can never be equals."

"It doesn't matter, ok? It doesn't. It's too late for us not to fall, Casey."

Casey's hands trembled more as tears rolled down her cheeks and she raised a hand under Olivia's jaw. "I... I do love you."

Olivia hugged her tightly. "Then please don't leave me," she said, kissing away her tears.

"I'm going to need you more than you need me."

Olivia shook her head. "You make me happy, so I need you."

"I need my bag, and a glass of water."

Olivia nodded, quickly getting Casey's bag and a glass of water, turning on the main light, taking them to her.

Casey dug around in her bag for a moment before removing three easy open pill bottles, giving another frustrated sigh when the muscles in her hands wouldn't allow her to open them, having not taken her pills before bed.

Olivia sat beside her. "Would you like me to get them open for you?"

Casey nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah," she replied, shakily wiping a tear from her cheek.

Olivia kissed it away, opening the three bottles. "One each, right?" she asked, holding them out for her.

Casey nodded, picking the glass up, glad Olivia hadn't filled it to the top as she took her pills slowly.

Olivia recapped the bottles, putting them back in her bag, rubbing her back. "Anything else?"

"No. Thanks," Casey sighed.

"More water?"

Casey shook her head. "I'm ok."

Olivia nodded, holding her hand securely. "Sleep?"

"No. That's me for the night now that my insomnia's kicked in."

Olivia nodded. "Lay with me?"

Casey nodded, slowly moving into Olivia's arms.

Olivia smiled, holding her securely. "I love you."

"You know you can't take that back now, right?"

Olivia nodded. "I know, but I never will."


	2. Pictures

Love Always, Liv

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 2: Pictures**

Casey lay silently in her arms for a long while. "I... it's Parkinson's," she whispered.

"Parkinson's? Where people get really bad muscle tone and shakes?" Olivia asked.

Casey nodded. "Early onset. Stage one."

"How long have you had it?"

"Found out officially a couple of months ago."

"The office...?"

"They don't know. No one except my parents and my brother until now."

Olivia nodded, hugging her tightly. "So is everything controlled with medication?"

"Mostly. Some days are worse than others. Four pills in the morning, two at lunch and three at bedtime."

Olivia kissed her cheek. "Will it progress?"

Casey closed her eyes momentarily. "Yes. When I get to the last stage, stage five, and... I'll get an Alzheimer's type disease," Casey struggled. "And I'll need full time care. "

Olivia kissed her soundly. "I'll still be here."

"I don't want you to promise me anything. I won't blame you if you're not."

"But I will be because I want to be, no matter how hard it will get. Isn't there some type of surgery you could get?"

"When the medication no longer controls the tremors, they can put electrodes in my brain."

"That sounds...honestly, horrifying, but if it really works, that's a great thing."

"When it gets that bad. Liv, I mean this... if you ever want out I'll never blame you, and as much as it will hurt, I will let you go."

Olivia sighed. Just the thought that Casey wouldn't remember her, anything about them if she mentioned it, was scary, terrifying even, but... "That's what love means. Being there for each other no matter what. Yes, it'll be hard, but we'll just have to take lots of pictures to remind you."

Casey kissed Olivia gently, smiling softly. "I love you."

"I love you too. Can we start those pictures now?" she asked, grabbing a digital camera from her nightstand drawer.

"Liv, I look horrendous," Casey replied burying her face against Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia clasped their hands tightly. "Then how about just this? A symbol that I'll always be here for you."

"Ok," Casey smiled.

Olivia smiled, situating their hands between them, held tightly, as the clicks went before the flash. She showed Casey how their hands perfectly fit together. "See?" she said, kissing her cheek.

"We can make a scrapbook if you want?" Casey replied, nuzzling Olivia's neck.

"That's exactly what I was thinking. We should," the detective said, putting the camera back, then snuggling against Casey. "Do they know h...how long it takes to progress?"

"It's depends on the individual, but mine's early onset. I might not even get to stage five until I'm seventy or eighty."

Olivia smiled. "Let's hope so. By then we can explain it to the kids easily," she said, not realizing she'd revealed a dream she wanted with Casey.

"You want kids then?" Casey smiled.

"Well, yeah, do you?"

"Since always."

"I don't know much about this. It's not inherited, is it?"

"It can be. It's not completely proven though."

"Does it depend on how severe it is when you're pregnant?"

"No. But if or when I am pregnant, I can't take my medication."

"So, it's probably best to try while you're still in Stage One?"

"Yes. You should know stress, anger, over excitement, all that sort of stuff can make the tremors worse even when I'm on my meds."

"Well, I haven't noticed until now, I must relax you," Olivia smirked.

"I have to get up in a few hours."

Olivia yawned, nodding. "In that case, I should probably sleep a bit more too."

"Night, Liv," Casey said softly, cuddling close.

"Night Case, I love you."

"I love you too," Casey said softly.

* * *

**Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt, TKR.87 & dragonsprit**


	3. Attention-Grabbed

Love Always, Liv

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**Ch. 3: Attention-Grabbed**

She deliberately woke before Olivia to get herself up and ready but groaned in frustration when her lack of muscle coordination in the morning combined with her shakes prevented her from doing up the zip on her skirt or the buttons on her blouse.

"Want some help?" Olivia asked, sitting up and walking over.

"I don't have much choice."

Olivia smiled, buttoning Casey's blouse and zipping her skirt. "You know, if you ever need help with this again and we haven't been together the night before, just walk into the precinct bathroom. I'll follow you."

Casey nodded. "You shouldn't have to, but thanks."

Olivia hugged her tightly. "It's no trouble. Do you have more meds to take?"

"Yeah, all of the ones from last night and the fourth."

Olivia grabbed Casey's bag and the four pill bottles, setting them on the nightstand before grabbing Casey another half glass of water and walking back in. She set the water on the nightstand, extracting the four pills, handing them to Casey. "Here."

Casey's hand shook as she raised it to her mouth having a few attempts at picking up the glass before finally taking them. "Sorry, looks like today is a bad day," she apologized.

Olivia shook her head, holding the glass up to Casey's lips. "Here, baby."

Casey gave a small smile as she drank enough water to properly swallow the pills down then sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. "Can you drive me this morning?"

Olivia nodded, kissing her soundly. "Call me if you need me to come grab anything. Otherwise, I'll take you to lunch, ok?"

"Can you bring me lunch? I'd rather not eat out on a bad day."

Olivia nodded. "Call me around a quarter to and I'll run and pick something up, ok?" she said, hugging her.

"Ok," Casey smiled, kissing Olivia gently before they set off.

* * *

Casey's morning seemed to be going slowly, and Olivia's not much better as Elliot sat observing her during surveillance. He'd been watching her troubled face for the past hour and finally decided to break the silence. "Liv..." he said, placing a supportive hand on her knee, "What's wrong? You look miserable."

Olivia looked up. "Just couldn't sleep. I'm ok, really."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Come on, I know you better than that. You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Olivia sighed, shaking her head. "I'm just having a tough time with Casey."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No, I'll be ok. Really. You'll be the first to know if I need something," Olivia said.

Elliot nodded. They both knew better than to push the other to talk. "There's our guy, let's go. Radio it in."

* * *

**Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt & dragonsprit**


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